This time of the year, I find joy in sharing meals, laughter and traditions with my family.

One of my favorite traditions is cutting down a Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving, which is a full-throttle extended-family event that includes more than just my husband and children.

I also cherish a newer tradition, lovingly dubbed “Cousins Christmas,” where my maternal cousins and I gather to celebrate the season together.

Just as meaningful are the moments I spend with loved ones who don’t share my bloodline or last name. My lifelong best friend and I set aside a night for a Hallmark movie marathon, complete with cozy pajamas and plenty of hot cocoa – a tradition that reminds me how meaningful it is to be known and loved beyond bloodlines.

Holiday gatherings like these remind me that the people who make us feel most at home aren’t always the ones we are related to by blood. Many LGBTQ+ people understand this deeply: Sometimes family is found, not simply limited to those who share our DNA.

Chosen family includes those we intentionally surround ourselves with – people who offer love, support and belonging outside of biological or legal ties. These families may not follow traditional definitions, but they are every bit as real and significant.

For LGBTQ+ individuals, the ideas of family and home can carry both hope and heartbreak. Some face strained or distant relationships after coming out, leaving them without the support many take for granted. In fact, almost half of LGBTQ+ young adults are estranged from at least one family member.

Even when someone is still living at home, a lack of acceptance can lead to increased mental health struggles and social isolation.

These experiences take a real toll. Family rejection is one of the leading reasons LGBTQ+ youths experience homelessness or housing instability. Behind every number is a young person who may be unsure where they can go – or whom they can trust – during the holidays.

In those moments, chosen family becomes more than comforting; it becomes vital. Chosen families step in where others step back. They open the door, pull up a chair at the table, and provide a sense of belonging that every person deserves.

If you’ve been entrusted with the gift of being part of someone’s chosen family, there are many ways to support them:

• Offer emotional support by affirming their identity and creating a safe place where they can be themselves.
• Invite them to share in your traditions – and perhaps even create new ones that celebrate diversity and strengthen your bond.
• Introduce them to supportive friends and community members.
• Understand that the holidays can be joyful for some and painful for others, and honor their needs for space and privacy.

This holiday season, if you find yourself with an extra seat, fill it with love by inviting someone who could use the company.

Chosen families can be a lifeline, but many LGBTQ+ individuals still carry a quiet hope that the families they were born into will one day embrace them fully. When that acceptance comes, it’s treasured.

If you’re working to better understand or support an LGBTQ+ loved one, PFLAG provides a safe place to learn, ask and grow so you can show up with love. PFLAG Sauk Valley has a Facebook presence, a website and can be reached by email at pflagsaukvalley@gmail.com.

As we gather around our tables this season – whether with the families we were born into or the ones we’ve built along the way – may we honor the truth that family is defined not by obligation, but by love freely given.

This holiday season, we at PFLAG celebrate every kind of family that love creates.

Gabbi McKanna is treasurer of PFLAG Sauk Valley.