Dixon native chronicles the impact of bullying in new memoir

DIXON — A Dixon native has written a book about the long-lasting impact of childhood bullying and the quiet strength it takes to survive it.

Gary Shelton’s new memoir is titled “Oh Wait; That Was NEVER Me! The Bully Affect and its Effects.”

“It’s been a story I’ve been writing my whole life,” said Shelton, who graduated from Dixon High School in 1972. “It just felt like time to put it in words.”

The memoir traces Shelton’s life from the age of 2 in Chicago to his teenage years in Dixon. Shelton’s story is not just about surviving bullying – it explores finding a purpose beyond the pain.

Shelton, who has spent a career in healthcare and nursing, said the book emerged from a lifelong practice of journaling and a deep desire to communicate.

“In healthcare, my life has been to help people deal with what they have to deal with and understand that they’re not responsible for it,” Shelton said. “But they are responsible for how they deal with life events.”

He hopes readers, especially those who have felt out of place, will find a kindred voice and a reminder that they are not alone. To young people facing similar struggles, his advice is simple: “Don’t keep it alone. Don’t keep it hidden.”

Shelton also has a message for parents.

“If you ask your kid if something is wrong, they might not necessarily tell you,” Shelton said. ”You have to communicate to connect…you do that by creating an environment where it is safe to talk about things that bother you.”

As for those who bully others, he takes an inquisitive approach.

“I would say, let’s talk about the feeling that you’re better than other people and where that comes from,” Shelton said. ”We need to address that those feelings occur.”

Shelton’s book does not offer any easy answers. Instead, he offers a mirror, one that reflects pain, resilience and the lifelong process of becoming who you really are.

“We’re all trying to figure out who we are and where our place is in the world,” Shelton said.