PFLAG Sauk Valley’s ‘Wedding Album’ photo exhibit on display at The Next Picture Show in Dixon

“I have been with my husband for 25 years, and we are also newlyweds. We made it official this year on our meeting anniversary of New Year’s Eve. After 25 years together, we continue to fall deeper in love every day. John is my best friend, my confidant, my cheerleader, my home.”

How lovely to be considered someone’s home … their place of contentment, of security, of peace.

That spirit of love and belonging – described by Tom Berry as he talked about his husband – shines throughout PFLAG Sauk Valley’s photo exhibit titled “Wedding Album” on display at The Next Picture Show in Dixon until July 2. Heartfelt moments from almost 30 same-sex couples who are our family, friends and neighbors are paired with historical text that highlight the 10th anniversary of the Obergefell v. Hodges decision, which extended marriage equality to same-sex couples nationwide. Each couple featured is part of that legacy and offers a window into lives shaped by courage and love.

As humans, we often take for granted things for which we have not had to struggle. In my case, one of those was the right to marry – along with all the social and legal privileges that came with it.

In the 33 years my husband and I have been married, we’ve shared the same health, auto and homeowners insurance. I’ve been able to sit at my husband’s hospital bedside without question and accompany our children during doctor’s visits and hospitalizations, all without legal obstacles. We’ve held hands in public without fear, swapped family vacation stories with co-workers, and posted pictures of our life together on social media without fear of condemnation from others.

These freedoms, so ordinary in our experience, are not afforded to everyone. The Obergefell decision (2015) helped rectify some of the disparities that same-sex couples face. Although only one name appears in the case title, Obergefell v. Hodges was actually a consolidation of several lawsuits brought by same-sex couples in Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee. These couples weren’t just fighting for symbolic recognition – they were fighting for basic rights: to be listed on a death certificate, to adopt their children, to receive spousal benefits and to be together in times of crisis.

James Obergefell and John Arthur (Ohio) were legally married in Maryland. When Arthur was dying of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, they wanted Ohio to recognize their marriage on his death certificate. Ohio refused, prompting Obergefell to sue.

In Michigan, April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse wanted to adopt each other’s children. Michigan law didn’t allow joint adoption by unmarried couples, and the state didn’t recognize same-sex marriage, so they challenged the law to secure legal parenthood for both women.

Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura married in New York just before DeKoe was deployed to Afghanistan with the U.S. Army. Upon his return, DeKoe was stationed at a military base in Tennessee, a state that did not recognize his marriage. DeKoe and Kostura argued that the state’s refusal created legal and personal hardship, particularly given the federal benefits he received as a service member.

In Kentucky, Gregory Bourke and Michael DeLeon, who had married in Canada but lived in Kentucky, sued the state for refusing to recognize their marriage, which denied them legal protections for their family, including their adopted children. Another Kentucky couple, Timothy Love and Lawrence Ysunza, were denied a marriage license by Kentucky officials, prompting their lawsuit on the grounds that the state was violating their constitutional rights.

Each couple’s case involved either being denied the right to marry or having their legal marriage disregarded by their home state, all of which ultimately contributed to the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling.

During Pride Month, we are reminded of the long and ongoing struggle many LGBTQ+ individuals and families face to access these same rights – to marry, to parent, to be by a partner’s side in a moment of crisis, or simply to live openly and safely.

These are fundamental human experiences that everyone deserves. What I’ve taken for granted others have had to fight for – and continue to fight for – every day. PFLAG is here to support LGBTQ+ individuals and their families on that journey.

For more information, contact us at pflagsaukvalley@gmail.com, view our website at pflagsaukvalley.org, or find us on Facebook.

Sarah Schlegel is president of PFLAG Sauk Valley.