Schlegel: Become an ally to ensure Sauk Valley is welcoming, supportive to all

After my husband and I married, we moved to Juneau, Alaska. Shortly thereafter, my father, an Iowan, said, “If you’d asked me a year ago if I knew anyone who had traveled to Alaska or had relatives in Alaska, I would have told you no. But now, when I tell folks that my daughter and her husband live in Alaska, people chime in with their own stories of travels to Alaska or with comments about relatives who live there.”

In those moments, my dad felt connected. He felt like he was part of a micro-community of people who had ties to Alaska.

My journey as a mom of a gay son has been a bit like that … thinking that I didn’t know others with gay children, until I said it aloud and then finding myself part of a micro-community.

I recently met another mom with a similar experience when we found ourselves as tablemates at a fundraiser dinner event.

I was wearing my “Ask me about PFLAG” button, and so she did. I explained that PFLAG Sauk Valley is a local chapter of PFLAG National, an LGBTQ+ support, education and advocacy organization. I shared that my husband and I joined PFLAG more than a decade ago after our son told us he is gay.

My tablemate, whose now-grown children attended Newman Catholic High School, shared that she, too, has a son who is gay. She stated that she wished she and her husband had known about PFLAG when their son shared the information with them, back when he was in high school.

This woman and I had just spent more than an hour’s worth of time in polite dinner conversation, but it wasn’t until I said that I have a gay son that we struck upon a common connection. At that moment, she became part of my micro-community.

People in towns and cities connect over a whole host of commonalities – sports, books, games, religion, business, theater, birds … the list goes on and on. Community organizations take an otherwise diverse population of people and connect them around a unifying interest.

PFLAG is no different.

We are city council members, ministers, business owners and managers, members of the armed services, performers, accountants, educators, counselors, health care professionals, reporters, engineers, insurance agents, construction workers, cashiers, mental health providers, librarians, social service providers, baristas, bankers, lawyers, laborers. We are church deacons; we are Kiwanis, Rotary, and Optimist members; we fill Buddy Bags with food for hungry children; we attend YWCA Women of Achievement luncheons and Chamber of Commerce events; we shop locally; we help raise money for area non-profit agencies; we participate in community events like National Night Out and Taste of Fiesta … well, you get the idea. PFLAG members are part of the fabric of the Sauk Valley area.

What unites us is the LGBTQ+ umbrella, which is pretty impressive given the fact that each initial represents its own unique subcategory. For instance, the journey my husband and I have taken as parents of a gay son does not mirror the journey of parents with a transgender child, nor does it mirror the journey of an individual born intersex. Nonetheless, we are a community of empathetic listeners who show up to support one another, especially when others raise their own voice of condemnation, exclusion, or even denial of existence.

PFLAG Sauk Valley is a community of LGBTQ+ individuals, their family members, and allies. We find strength in sharing the certainty that – despite current political rhetoric – society actually benefits from building each human’s sense of belonging so that our family members, friends, neighbors, parishioners and co-workers feel safe and supported.

When that happens, the entire Sauk Valley wins because talented, compassionate, civic-minded LGBTQ+ folks will feel valued enough to stay here rather than move to urban areas where they find greater acceptance.

Help us strengthen the Sauk Valley area by growing in your understanding of LGBTQ+ people and building a community where all individuals are valued and supported. PFLAG Sauk Valley can be found via Facebook and at pflagsaukvalley.org.

Sarah Schlegel is president of PFLAG Sauk Valley.