With a heigh-heigh-heigh and a ho-ho-ho …
I walk into the big-box store to buy a few lightbulbs for the office.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear ...
An enormous pair of bloody eyes with long, dripping red fingernails holding a baby doll at eye level and muttering something sinister about the bundle and then twisting its head off.
Yup. Welcome to Halloween 2023 folks.
It’s no longer kiddie nightmares of the Wicked Witch zooming around on her broom in the occasional Oz movie. Now she’s out greeting us all at eye level in the neighborhood store, on bloody steroids and with no Good Witch floating nearby.
It makes me long to hear a sweet voice, “Everything’s going to be all right. Just close your eyes and tap your heels together three times.”
“I’ll do it!” I close my eyes and conjure up the soft angelic features of the Good Witch.
Whew. I feel so much better thinking of her. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s ...
“Nooooooo!”
I open my eyes and before me stands an uglier than ugly queen of loathsome witches stirring a huge black kettle telling me she thinks my eyeballs would fit well into it.
Say what! Get me out of here fast! Forget the bulbs. I’ll light some candles.
On my scramble to the exit, I see a father carrying his 2-year old son, passing one-by-one through the foul life-size mess of horror and pressing buttons to hear each of their awful sadistic ramblings. Each one more gruesome sounding, more bloodier looking than the next. Daddy’s having a great time laughing with each push of a big red button.
“Look at that,” he giggles, “hahahaha …”
I noticed his wide-eyed child wasn’t laughing one bit, though. Maybe because it wasn’t one bit funny. I’m with you kid.
But I happen to know, dear little one, there really are good witches out there. There really are.
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes to see one.
• Joan Budilovsky can be reached at editorial@kcchronicle.com or through her website, Yoyoga.com.