“When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.”

Jan. 24 has been a meaningful day in my life for many years.

It is the day the church recognizes St. Francis de Sales, a French bishop and doctor of the church who lived from 1567 to 1622.

I first met de Sales in 1995, when I purchased his classic work, “Introduction to the Devout Life.” In a time when spiritual devotion was seen primarily as limited to those betrothed to the religious life, de Sales taught that, in fact, the experience and love of God is available to everyone, regardless of their position or status in life. This book taught me an entirely new way of approaching the divine from the one I was taught as a child.

It was only after I bought and read “Introduction to the Devout Life” that I found out St. Francis de Sales is the patron saint of writers and journalists. Since first reading his book all those years ago, he and I have become spiritual friends. I have often asked him for prayers and intercession in my aspirations to become a writer, and looking back over the years, I am convinced that whatever success or positive effect I have had is largely thanks to him and his prayers and guidance.

Another reason I have been drawn to de Sales is his gentle nature. Known as “the gentleman saint,” de Sales internally struggled with a quick temper and impatient spirit. But those around him were never aware of that struggle, as his desire to live with a meek and humble heart, like Christ, was stronger than his imperfections. He actively counseled many people about their daily lives and offered a receptive heart to those in need of spiritual consolation.

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”

De Sales’ theology was steeped in that of the sacred heart of Jesus, which was another strong draw for me to his writings. In all he taught, he encouraged people to lean into the gentle strength and strong gentleness that is the personhood of Christ and to embody it in their daily lives.

De Sales knew well from his own struggles with anger and impatience how challenging it can be to choose gentleness and kindness when faced with conflict and division.

And yet, he offers us a countercultural balm to the distinctly broad and pervasive difficulties we find ourselves living with in these times.

To de Sales, excessive hostility and bullying were not signs of strength; this kind of behavior betrays a small and insecure spirit.

Genuine strength of spirit is characterized by a gentleness of being – in words, thoughts and actions. It means putting to death our lesser instincts of control and domination and living with a servant heart, steeped in the way of Christ.

These teachings of St. Francis de Sales are timeless. They do not and will never go out of style because they are the heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And although we will each fall short of our aspirations to live the heart of Christ in all situations, if we keep this desire always in mind, it will be easier to overcome our weaknesses.

St. Francis de Sales is indeed a saint for these times. I encourage you to explore his teachings and get to know him as the gentle man he is. And if you feel so moved, call upon him to help you in your efforts to live and be gentle in spirit and heart.

Tell him Jerrilyn sent you.

SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column by Jerrilyn Zavada Novak that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact her at jzblue33@yahoo.com.