The last time Carla Wills stood on the front porch of her former neighbor on North Greenwood Avenue in Kankakee, she was 15 years old, hoping to catch a glimpse of her mother across the street.

At age 8, Wills and her older sister went to live with their father after being kept locked upstairs most of their lives by their stepfather, who would only let them out of the house to go to school.

The night before they left home, their mother, wanting to keep them safe, told her two oldest children to “never come back.”

Wills soon realized what a normal life was supposed to look like. Still, she found it difficult to take her mother’s advice.

She desperately wanted to reconnect with her mother, Mary Ella Reed (Lacy), who had 17 children in total.

Willa Smith was doing yard work one day in April 1985 when the teenage Wills came to sit on her front porch for a while.

“I was trying to see if [my mother] would ever come outside,” Wills recalled.

On this tragic day, Wills’ mother, at age 39, entered cardiac arrest during an attempted home birth of triplets. Two of the triplets were stillborn, one baby lived, and the mother died.

Because Wills had been watching the house from Smith’s porch, she saw the ambulance and was able to call a family member to get a ride to the hospital.

Smith’s small act of kindness allowed Wills to see her mother once more before her death.

Earlier this month, Wills, now 55, returned to Smith’s front porch to share how much the moment meant to her.

She presented Smith with a copy of the book she recently wrote and self-published, titled “Celebrating Gray: Having the Audacity to in spite of.”

Wills’ book is available for purchase on Amazon. She will be signing books at 1 p.m. March 15 at Greater New Hope MB Church, 1591 E. Cedar St. For more information, visit www.celebratinggray.com.

Story to tell

Wills has been in the spotlight before.

At age 38, Wills survived a massive heart attack despite being sent home three times in the same week from a hospital and medical professionals, including a cardiologist.

She was interviewed by several TV news stations about heart health.

Wills was also featured in an August 1992 article in the Daily Journal titled “Welfare Winners,” about women who had gotten off government assistance.

Another article in January 1995 featured Wills as the recipient of a scholarship that helped her attend Columbia College in Chicago, where she studied broadcast journalism, hoping to “become the next Oprah.”

Although Wills has had opportunities to tell her own life story, it has always been her intention to share her mother’s story.

That’s where “Celebrating Gray” came in.

The book is part memoir, part tribute to her mother and part life advice.

“That’s what ‘Celebrating Gray’ is about,” she said. “You’ve got to keep going.”

Despite the hardships of her early life, Wills found happiness and success; she has three grown children and is a grandmother.

Wills works as a grant officer for the federal government and resides in Homewood.

In recent years, she poured her frustration and anger into the construction of a “glamping” resort, providing upscale camping accommodations, where she helps attendees find inner peace.

“What I’m trying to show people is, through all of your ‘gray,’ it’s not the gray that matters, that you’re celebrating,” she said. “It’s what you did to get over it. How did you overcome it?”

Act of kindness

Wills spent years contemplating her mother’s story but has been waiting for the right moment to share it.

“I just had to get to a point where I was happy,” she said.

Once she had done the healing she felt necessary to release the book, she thought of Willa Smith.

Because of Smith’s small act of kindness back in 1985, Wills was able to see her mother in the hospital in her last moments.

“All the stars aligned,” she reflected. “... I was meant to be on that porch that day.”

The ripple effects of that kindness are still felt today, 40 years later.

“I always wanted to be with [my mother],” Wills said. “I just wasn’t able to be with her the way I wanted to.”

Smith, 85, has lived in her family’s Kankakee residence since 1970.

Smith remembers the family that lived across the street, but she had forgotten all about the day Mary Ella Reed (Lacy) died.

“That is really something,” Smith said. “Something you did way back in the day, you can’t even remember, [made a difference].”

She was surprised to hear that Wills wanted to recognize her and present her with a copy of her book.

“I felt special,” Smith said. “After all those years, she didn’t have to do that. I didn’t think it was anything really, just sitting on the porch, but to her, it was a whole different thing.”

Celebrating Gray

“Celebrating Gray” refers to acknowledging resilience in the face of adversity.

Wills tapped into that resilience after getting sent home from hospitals at age 38, when she was complaining of chest pains.

She was told that she might have gastric reflux or perhaps was suffering from anxiety.

“I started thinking I was crazy myself, because I keep going up to all these medical professionals telling me there’s nothing wrong,” she said.

She went to see one more doctor. Tests determined that Wills had a “widow maker,” a 100% blockage in her artery, which is often fatal. She was given a pacemaker and survived the ordeal.

“Because I survived that, that’s where the ‘Celebrating Gray’ comes in,” she said.

GRAY is an acronym: Get up and go, and keep going. Recognize your symptoms, or that something is wrong. Ask questions. Finally, the “Y” is that “Your life matters.”

“I use myself as an example,” Wills said. “Before I tell you any advice, let me show you all my ‘gray.’ If I can do this, there’s no reason y’all can’t.”

The mantra can be applied to any situation, from advocating for oneself through medical issues to escaping domestic violence.

“I think people need to know that their lives matter,” Wills said. “Look at the situation I came from.”

Perspective shift

The title “Celebrating Gray” was inspired by a thought Wills had while combing her hair one day.

In 2013, Wills noticed some grays in the mirror.

Simultaneously, she heard a report on the news about a famous actor that had died of heart disease.

That’s when everything clicked.

Unlike her mother and the actor on the news, Wills survived her serious heart complications, a feat that felt almost miraculous.

Noticing a strand of gray hair should be a happy occasion, she reasoned. It means she has lived long enough to see them.

“I love to see gray hair, and because I felt like celebrating the gray hair, that’s where the title came from,” Wills said.

Wills’ ability to shift her perspective and find joy in life has gotten her far.

She leaned into uncovering her mother’s history, which opened her up to acceptance and learning about the realities and complexities of domestic violence and mental illness.

She learned that these issues can and do affect everyone, regardless of upbringing, background or socio-economic status.

“I went through that type of environment, but that doesn’t have to be my environment,” Wills said. ”You don’t have to be a product of your environment. We are, but you don’t have to have those same outcomes."